Navigating Grief During the Holidays: Finding Peace and Self-Care in a Challenging Season

The holidays often carry an emotional weight that’s hard to escape. For many, what should be a season of joy and togetherness can bring to the surface feelings of loss, loneliness, and grief. This post, written by Ceci Frost, an Associate at Botaitis Therapy Group who focuses in grief, aims to provide guidance on how to navigate these challenges. Ceci has worked with many individuals facing grief, and her insights can help you find peace and self-care during this difficult season.

The festive atmosphere, with its decorations, music, and celebrations, can sometimes act like a magnifying glass to those difficult emotions, intensifying the sense of missing someone who has passed or the longing for a connection that isn’t there. If you're struggling, you might feel as though everyone around you is celebrating, and you’re the only one not "in the spirit." But it's crucial to remember: you are not alone, even though it can feel that way, and you can get through this season—one moment at a time.

One of the most important things to understand is that it’s okay not to feel festive. There’s no universal rule that you must feel a certain way during the holidays. In fact, giving yourself permission to not be in the holiday spirit can be incredibly freeing. You don’t have to force yourself to enjoy parties, decorations, or even the idea of “cheer.” It’s okay to grieve, to feel sadness, and to acknowledge that this time of year is difficult. 

Be kind to yourself in those moments. You don’t have to measure up to anyone’s expectations of what this season should look like. There’s no shame in feeling different, and there’s no shame in needing to take a step back. If you feel overwhelmed by the idea of social gatherings, give yourself the freedom to decline invitations. You have the right to protect your emotional well-being, and if that means skipping a party or family gathering to take care of yourself, that’s okay.

Reach out for support when you need it. If there’s someone you trust—whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist—be brave enough to ask for quality time with them. Sometimes, even small moments of connection can make a big difference. You don’t have to navigate your emotions alone. Sharing your feelings, even if they’re difficult, can ease the burden and remind you that you are supported.

To stabilize your mental health during this time, creating routines and rhythms can be helpful. When everything feels unpredictable or chaotic, anchors throughout your day can offer a sense of control and grounding. These can be small, simple actions that give you structure. Maybe it’s taking a walk at the same time each day, finding comfort in the routine of reading before bed, or sipping a warm drink while reflecting on a memory. These daily practices can be small reminders that, even in the midst of grief or discomfort, you have control over how you move through each day. Check out this website for examples of daily practices.

Most importantly, remember that there’s no right or wrong way to get through the holidays - just a healthy way that’s unique to you. Sometimes it’s a matter of finding the balance between honoring your grief and taking care of yourself. It might not always look like the holiday spirit that’s portrayed in movies or social media, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. You get to choose how you move through this season, and you have the power to make choices that protect your mental and emotional well-being.

In the end, be gentle with yourself. The holidays are a season that can stir up a lot, but you have everything within you to get through it. Your feelings are valid, and you don’t have to do it alone. You are stronger than you think, and even in the most challenging moments, you are allowed to take care of yourself in a way that makes sense for you.

If you are searching for therapeutic support with grief during the holidays, schedule a free consultation call with Ceci Frost at 805 909-3751 at or reaching Botaitis Therapy Group by filling out this form.