Many people believe that couples counseling is for relationships in crisis, especially those on the edge of separation or divorce,  but in truth, it offers valuable support at any stage of a partnership. Whether you’re newly committed, navigating challenges like sexual differences, financial stress, or parenting, or simply seeking to improve communication, couples counseling can enhance your connection and strengthen your relationship.

At Botaitis Therapy Group, associate therapist Jonathan Makiri guides couples through these complexities. This post explores the benefits of couples counseling, clears up common misconceptions, and highlights how Jonathan works with clients.

Why Couples Seek Counseling

Couples seek counseling for a variety of reasons. Often, partners want to ensure they are on the same page about their long-term goals—whether that’s about partnership, commitment, or shared values. For example, counseling can help couples explore questions like: "Are we ready to spend the rest of our lives together?" or "Do we share the same vision for the future?"

A common misconception is that therapy sessions will focus on assigning blame or proving one partner right. Instead, couples counseling is about fostering mutual understanding and helping partners communicate more effectively. Check out this article from Psychology Today that highlights the most common couples therapy myths.

Common Topics Addressed in Couples Counseling

• Partnership and Commitment: Counseling helps couples clarify what partnership and commitment mean to them, ensuring both partners are aligned on what it takes to make their relationship thrive.

• Sexual Discrepancies: It’s common for couples to have differences in sexual desire or needs. Counseling offers a safe space to explore these differences and find mutually satisfying solutions. This article provides questions to ask yourself about sexual desire differences.

• Finances: Money can be a major source of stress for couples. Therapists help partners create open communication around finances, teaching them how to manage money as a team.

• Parenting: Parenting can bring new challenges to a relationship, from disagreements about parenting styles to balancing roles. Couples counseling can help navigate these challenges, ensuring both partners feel supported in their parenting journey. This Gottman’s article provides a good overview of key issues new parents face.

• Communication: At the core of many relationship issues is communication. Therapy can help couples learn how to express themselves more effectively, listen empathetically, and resolve conflicts in a way that strengthens their relationship. Check out this article that provides communication exercises to practice with your partner.

How Jonathan Works with Couples

Many couples come to therapy when their relationship patterns make them feel stuck, helpless, hopeless, misunderstood and insecure. Often these entrenched patterns resemble similar dysfunctional patterns that individuals experienced in their family of origin or in previous relationships. By exploring family history, family systems, attachment style and more positive forms of communication, I have witnessed couples develop a deeper and more empathic understanding of their partner’s perspectives which can lead to deeper connection, trust, collaboration and individual growth. Helping couples to prioritize learning about each other, expressing their concerns vulnerably and productively, taking personal responsibility for their behavior and feelings, and moving away from blaming one another for their disappointments is a powerful shift that all couples can benefit from. 

Resources Jonathan often uses in his work with couples:

• Video that explains anxious/avoidant couples dynamics

• Imago dialogue for stronger communication between couples

The Takeaway

Couples counseling isn’t just for relationships in crisis. Whether you're considering a deeper commitment or navigating the complexities of a long-term partnership, counseling can help you build a stronger connection, address challenges, and create a shared vision for the future. At Botaitis Therapy Group, associate therapist Jonathan Makiri is committed to helping couples thrive in their relationships by offering compassionate, evidence-based support tailored to each couple’s unique needs.

Could you and your partner benefit from the insights and support that couples counseling offers? Making the decision to seek help isn't always easy, but it's a crucial step in nurturing and protecting your relationship.

If you'd like to learn more or explore whether couples counseling is right for you, don't hesitate to reach out to us to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call at 805-636-9890 or fill out this form.